Feeling very grateful this week. I’ve finally gone through the painful process of going through my finances with my accountant and financial advisor, which is something I’ve been dreading. I knew I took a huge hit to extricate myself from the mess that was 2012. Lawyers, real estate agents, taxes, therapists, and movers are expensive. It’s made me realize why so many women do not leave bad situations. But I’m back on track. Thank God (sometimes He provides simply by dulling one’s craving for exotic travel and the Chanel 2.55 and increasing one’s desire to be financially independent.)
Here’s how I got through this particular Job season (aka The Reversal-of-Fortune Survival Guide for Divorcees, Widows, and Other Distressed Gentle Women.)
1) Take a clear look at your financial and legal picture. Even if it’s really bad, it’s probably not as bad as you fear.
2) Surround yourself with good people. The folks who say helpful things like, “I always knew he was trouble” or “You seem to have terrible luck” are not useful at this time. No apologies are needed, simply tell them you are busy (no need to admit that you are busy with more supportive people!) I have come to know a lovely woman who regularly tells me I remind her of Nicole Kidman or Claudia Schiffer. Cultivate these relationships!
3) Nurture your faith. Whether you believe in God, Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Karma, the Great Mother, or Rock and Roll, this is the time to deepen your faith. I’ve always been a Christian but there were seasons in my life when it was really in name and tradition only. There is nothing like a Job season to make you figure out what you believe and lean hard on your faith. In my case, I leaned hard on God and Jesus and my prayers were answered (albeit not always in the way I might have liked!!) Asking for help is not a weakness, it’s a sign that you are smart enough to know that we were not meant to do everything on our own.
4) The bad news is things have changed. But wait, the good news is things have changed. See the change as an opportunity to reinvent yourself. Don’t be so eager to hang onto or recreate your old life. I don’t think we’d be exposed to trial simply to end up where we were. Who do you want to be? Become her.
5) Surround yourself with beauty. I believe that our souls are hard-wired to crave beautiful surroundings. They do not have to be expensive (and after a reversal of fortune shouldn’t be – this is a time to draw in, not spend out!) Take a walk outside, wear the most colourful thing in your wardrobe, organize an accessories swap with others. This is the time to focus on all of the amazing things on God’s green earth:
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. ~Philippians 4:8
I do derive great pleasure from being surrounded by pretty. Plus I need to think of summer and sun since apparently we are getting SNOW tomorrow. Of course it is, because I just had all the winter coats dry cleaned and put away.
Well, that’s all for today. I hope that you are in a happy season, but if not, hopefully this blog can be a place to be assured that if I survived, you will too.