Gnocchi, pilates, and DBT

I hope y’all had a good weekend. It’s nice to get back into routine after all of the busyness of the holidays.

I filled my weekend with positive things like yoga, good food, and dinners with friends. If you live in Stepford or Lorne Park, you’ll be happy to hear Capra’s Kitchen has opened on Lakeshore across from the decent Homesense. Massimo is cooking so go now before the masses discover it. The gnocchi is amazing.

I’ve started taking an intro to Pilates class. Everyone in the world who is attractive seems to do Pilates so I thought, what the heck… After the first class, my shoulders feel looser and my hip flexors no longer hurt. It’s like an hour long massage. I think I’m going to like it.

I’ve been struggling a little with re-entry to Stepford after our cruise: I think it’s part of PTSD’s charming gift basket. I am not the kind of gal to embrace set-backs and I’ve been doing some research into treatment. Apparently, a lot of people are using dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) with great success and on the weekend, I had made a mental note to get some more information this week.

Yesterday, I was in Costco and decided that I had time to wander the aisles instead of running through like a madwoman attempting to win Supermarket Sweep. I wandered the book aisle and don’t I see, nestled among the Danielle Steeles, this book:

What in Holy Hanna is a DBT book doing in Costco? Did the Mississauga store switch their book order with, I don’t know, Costco Fort Bragg? Costco tends to serve the masses: are this many people struggling with this? I was stunned, but tossed the book in my cart along with Martha Stewart Living magazine, a potted orchid, and yet more organic chia seeds. (Do you have something you regularly over-buy? For us, it’s peanut butter and chia seeds. We must have some past-life lack in this area!)

Last night, I started reading the DBT book and it’s interesting. DBT seems to be a type of cognitive therapy that helps you take some of the emotion out of your view of the world. I don’t know if any of y’all are Eckhart Tolle fans but it reminds me a bit of The Power of Now, which helps to differentiate you from your thoughts.

The DBT book starts with some self-care techniques to help get you out of a pickle and helps you gain some perspective through mindfulness techniques. Then it layers on some thinking techniques, where you balance the rational brain with the emotional one to come to more reasonable conclusions than fight, flight, or freeze. Basically, it’s an exercise in critical thinking and I recognize a lot of the elements from my own book.

Apparently, I’ve simply been too busy stuffing French Bulldogs into Goyard bags and watching Ladies of London to realize that the tools I’ve used in business could help me deal with my life. I plan to do a lot more research, as well as a bunch of practical things, in this area.

I’m also doing a bunch of positive things like taking the pretty drive with lake views to my gym rather than driving on the industrial street with the strip club to save 30 seconds. I’m going to try the adult colouring book thing (that sounds a bit strip clubby!) since it proved healing on the silent retreat.

My interview with Mama Lee, an Iris Apfel-like octogenarian who lives on a cruise ship, is live on 1010ParkPlace. Join us next Tuesday for the 1010 book club. Caroline Leavitt is in the house, discussing her novel Cruel Beautiful World. She’s filmed a little video for us too.

I hope 2017 is treating you well so far. And if not, I hope you have some plans in place for turning it around. I’m going to share my journey here and hopefully what I discover might help you too.


  1. I don't know much about DBT but I do think a lot about taking away emotion, cultural gearing, and general bias confirmation out of things. It really gets in the way of clear headed thinking and of course you then keep reaffirming negative things bc it is innate to want to be right. Having done law ( studied longer than I practiced ) I did learn to see the argument without emotions and that does help even though there can be accusations that I am a cold hearted so and so!I am forever buying laundry detergent bc it is on sale but then of course it is one of those items that are ALWAYS on sale – am such a dufus sometimes xx


  2. I think any kind of framework helps. I'm always very reasoned in business discussions but all emotional in relationship ones. I have to put my business hat on more I think! Thanks for your comment! xo


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