So, I had the laser surgery. On the bright side, my right eye is aces. I could see for Canada were seeing things an Olympic event. Also, I’m into regular sunglasses and got to ditch the freebie ones the clinic provides. Life is always a bit better in Chanel and Maui Jim’s. No? I’m trying out readers on my good eye so future optical shopping opportunities abound. Yippee.
But then there is my left eye. I have pre-glaucoma because of a stupid pigment malfuntion that keeps turning my baby blue eyes the colour of the middle of the Atlantic. People compliment their darkness, not realizing this is in fact the thing that may eventually lead me to a white stick and a service dog other than Serena.
I could have just worn glasses, only they seemed to be contributing to my vertigo. Oh, life has just been a merry whirl over the last few months here. Trust me, when all of this is over, I plan to celebrate big time. In couture.
So I had the surgery which, by the way, hurts like hell. The lasering part is fine. You feel nothing. It’s way less painful than YAG face lasering. You just hear the snapping sound. That’s it. But the thing they use to wedge your eye open was designed for a cyclops. A big one. I kid you not. I once had a Hysterosalpingography with a very twisted cervix when I was trying to get pregnant. They came at me with something that looked like jaggedy barbecue tongs. That was better. Just saying.
Anyhow, they got my eye set up and then the surgery was no biggy but the left eye is just not healing as it should in spite of 7,632 drops of prednisone and antibiotics every day. This is not the doctor’s fault. He’s a rock star and deals with glaucoma. I just have crappy health. I have a chart I have to use to figure out my eye meds since it’s different for each eye. It looks something like this. Also, remember, I really can’t see very well so filling out a chart is super helpful. The good times are rolling fast and furious.
At night, I tape two giant plastic disks to my face with surgical tape, so I cannot scratch out my eyes with frustration. It’s super glam. I plan to keep them in my bag in case I ever find myself in a Tippi situation.