They all ran after the farmer’s wife…

So, I had the laser surgery. On the bright side, my right eye is aces. I could see for Canada were seeing things an Olympic event. Also, I’m into regular sunglasses and got to ditch the freebie ones the clinic provides. Life is always a bit better in Chanel and Maui Jim’s. No? I’m trying out readers on my good eye so future optical shopping opportunities abound. Yippee.

But then there is my left eye. I have pre-glaucoma because of a stupid pigment malfuntion that keeps turning my baby blue eyes the colour of the middle of the Atlantic. People compliment their darkness, not realizing this is in fact the thing that may eventually lead me to a white stick and a service dog other than Serena.

I could have just worn glasses, only they seemed to be contributing to my vertigo. Oh, life has just been a merry whirl over the last few months here. Trust me, when all of this is over, I plan to celebrate big time. In couture.

So I had the surgery which, by the way, hurts like hell. The lasering part is fine. You feel nothing. It’s way less painful than YAG face lasering. You just hear the snapping sound. That’s it. But the thing they use to wedge your eye open was designed for a cyclops. A big one. I kid you not. I once had a Hysterosalpingography with a very twisted cervix when I was trying to get pregnant. They came at me with something that looked like jaggedy barbecue tongs. That was better. Just saying.

Anyhow, they got my eye set up and then the surgery was no biggy but the left eye is just not healing as it should in spite of 7,632 drops of prednisone and antibiotics every day. This is not the doctor’s fault. He’s a rock star and deals with glaucoma. I just have crappy health. I have a chart I have to use to figure out my eye meds since it’s different for each eye. It looks something like this. Also, remember, I really can’t see very well so filling out a chart is super helpful. The good times are rolling fast and furious.


At night, I tape two giant plastic disks to my face with surgical tape, so I cannot scratch out my eyes with frustration. It’s super glam. I plan to keep them in my bag in case I ever find myself in a Tippi situation.

This is the first time since Thursday, I’ve been allowed any screen time. Still can’t use my phone and am not watching TV. I cannot even be entertained by Tinsley! Also I can’t read. 
I can’t read my new books!!
I bought some stuff through Audible. God bless them! I can’t cry or laugh wildly so Carry On Warrior had to be shelved for a while so I’ve been listening to chick lit. Also, Daphne Rose Kingma’s 10 Things To Do When Your Life Falls Apart because it feels appropriate and I’ve read it a bunch and there are no surprises. Her voice is super soothing. 
Well, that’s it for the update. Back to see the surgeon again. My regular eye doc has been amazing, coming in on her day off to make sure I’m as OK as possible. It will all be OK in the end. Just glacially slow and slightly worrisome. 
I’ve used up my daily allotment for seeing. Keep calm and carry on, y’all. 


  1. Oh no this sounds terrible. I think you need a nurse, and a bell! I hope you get well as fast as possible Jen, thinking of you and yes you are owed lots of treats after this one! XX


  2. Hi Jen, I started reading this yesterday then somehow wandered away from the page. I'm almost sorry I came back to finish reading – it all sounds horrible! I hope that the meds work and that you're soon back to your normal pursuits, it must all be very frustrating, and not a little scary.


  3. I hope they work too. Back to the doc tomorrow. I am told I can use my good eye so I've been doing some one eyed reading and computer work but I do hope the left one catches up soon. Thank you for the well wishes!! xoxo


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